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How to stay mentally strong when you feel like the weaker player?

2512 commentsu/Creative_Election2881w ago

Yesterday I played a match and I want to ask about mindset. My partner was very good (4.5 level), me and our opponents were around 3.3–3.8 on Playtomic First set started good, both teams holding serve until 4–4, then we lost it 6–4. I had some errors, mostly because I was trying to play on their backhands. One of them was a lefty, so both their backhands were on the fence, and I kept hitting the fence. My partner was guiding me in a good way, told me to play more to the middle, safer. After the first set, everything was good between us. But mentally I started to feel like I’m the reason we are losing. Second set, my mindset changed a lot. I started thinking too much before every shot, playing just to not miss. I felt tight, no confidence, and even some simple balls I was overthinking. I also felt pressure because my partner was better than me. Even though he was supportive, I felt like I’m letting him down. Because of this, I lost focus, and I think it affected the match. My partner also started making more mistakes in the second set, and we lost 6–2. Honestly, I feel the loss was more mental than level, the opponent are good, they’re in same level to me in general “but not in the game day” but they had better confident and they win with more relaxed. How do you deal with this? When you feel you are the weaker player and don’t want to let your partner down, how do you stay relaxed and play your normal game?

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Comments (12)

u/bousa1w ago

Take it as a learning experience. Sounds to me you already have which puts you in good stead to be better in similar situations in the future

u/Leolio_1w ago

I mean, you were the reason you guys were losing, and that's perfectly fine. Your partner was absolutely OK with that. Sometimes you're the weakest player, sometimes you're the best, sometimes it's balanced. Everyone's used to that. I say it like this but I suffered from the same thing, a lot. It was a big fear of mine. I'm probably still a bit affected by it sometimes, but way less. Actually, what could happen ? Nothing. Worst case scenario someone is a bit pissed. Now, that's 100% their problem, not yours. Most people are good people and won't care much. It's way more important to be a good person than to be a good player. Don't overthink. That said, focus on what you have to do. Do what you can do, not what you think you should do, don't try difficult shots. Also, don't hyper focus, it's useless (the book the Inner Game of Tennis comes to mind). You don't need to think of everything. But I noticed what you can focus on is rotating your body early for preparation, and moving a lot. The rest is too complicated. When you're the weakest player you can't do much more than focus on the game, move a lot and play simple shots.

u/TopgearM1w ago

That's perfectly normal. See it as a process. In a year time, you will not even think of this match anymore and you will deal with it much better. In a few months you will have more match experience and more training under your belt. The reason this happened is because you are an intermediate in a strong learning phase both technically and tactically. Over time you will gain more experience and your shots will be qualitatively better and you will get less tense because of the increased confidence in your game. For now, just accept it and don't feel bad about it. Be grateful of this experience and the fact that your partner was supportive (they are not all like that). This experience is making you a stronger padel player in the longer run (although you don't feel like it right now).

u/motleycrue5551w ago

I’ve been playing for 3 years roughly twice a week minimum and this is still something I haven’t overcome yet!!!

u/rylark1w ago

Honestly, when you’re clearly the worst player, it is what it is, there isn’t much you can do about that fact, but there’s always something you can do about your “inner game”. The moment you stop focusing on the game and instead focus on the struggle between you and yourself, you already lost. You’re playing extremely consciously, and it becomes hard to loosen up and play smoothly. Avoid thinking on your technique, how you hit the ball, etc. That focus is brought in training. In a competitive game, your focus should be away from you. What works for me when my brain is invaded with thoughts is 2 things: - during the point: if the ball is coming to me, my focus is on the ball. I focus so much on it I try to find the seams of the ball, which is way harder than it seems. That helps a lot drowning other thoughts. If the ball is on the opponents side, my focus is on their body and their racket, and I just let my body react to that. - after the point, rather I win or lose said point, the only thing I think is “next point”. I’m not thinking of how I should’ve hit the ball, if my hand was loose or tight, If I’m ever going to win this game or not. I’m thinking of the next point, and that’s where your mind should be imo.

u/Top-Village34071w ago

someone read the inner game of tennis :)

u/Creative_Election288OP1w ago

I agree, I also tried that in some games and try to not think for the past shots and think for what’s happening now and the current ball and current shot. And really that strategy can get you back to the court even from 4-1 to 4-6.

u/k0binator1w ago

Its a tricky one because people who are naturally introspective are much more likely to suffer from this issue. What works for me is to literally “switch off” the brain if that makes sense, don’t even think about tactics or where you want to place the ball, focus only on the ball itself and your footwork and movement and timing to arrive at and strike the ball clean. Once you do that 4-5 times, the confidence naturally starts coming back. If you try to “think” your way out of this issue its likely to cause a negative spiral because the problem is thinking itself, while playing you don’t have time for that shit, play needs to be instinctive P.S. my favourite games are the ones where I am the weakest player (not by too huge a margin). When you play with 3 people who are all a bit better than you it forces you to stretch your game and get out of your comfort zone much more, in my opinion those are the games where you will actually improve and more importantly you will recognise consistent flaws in your game and work towards eliminating those basic positioning and tactical flaws which can make a solidly intermediate player sometimes look/feel like a noob when playing against an advanced player

u/mercynuts1w ago

Assuming you're playing as the right sided player in these scenarios, the best advice is to keep the rally going. Best way to help your partner is to stay in the rally and eventually (hopefully) they'll get a chance to hit a telling shot which given their higher rating and position on court, should be easier for them (if you're both right handed).

u/Creative_Election288OP1w ago

I was left side actually

u/aladdin_d1w ago

Play on the right when you have a right handed stronger partner, left side players have more angles and need to cover middle more also if you know you’re the weaker side you can intentionally allow your partner to take up more space which is hard if they play on the right side if they are right handed

u/HairyCallahan1w ago

I think it's a matter of what kind of person you are. I find it hard when I'm the weakest player. I make a lot of unnecessary mistakes, feeling like a noob. I play twice as good when I'm confident and the best player on the court. The only thing that kind of works for me is to fully commit on smashes and other finishing shots and not hold back