Yeah same. Took me probably 2 years to actually trust it.
The thing that clicked for me was watching pros — not the highlight reels, actual full matches. They rally for like 15-20 shots without anyone attempting a winner. Every shot is just asking a question: can you return this? Can you return this harder one? Can you return this to a worse position?
The winner at the end isn't actually the winning shot — it's the 8 shots before that slowly dismantled the opponent's position. By the time the "winner" happens, it's not even hard. The court is wide open.
Once I got that, my whole game changed. I stopped thinking "when can I hit the smash" and started thinking "how do I get them uncomfortable". Deep lobs, pushing them against the glass, making them hit backhand overheads they don't want. The opening just appears.
Still catch myself going for stupid shots when I'm tired or tilted. But at least now I notice it happening mid-point instead of after the match.
Also helped me a lot: playing with someone better than me for 10-15 sessions. You literally cannot win by going for winners against a good player. They punish every low-percentage shot. Forces you to play patient whether you like it or not.